![]() ![]() It looks like a horror movie and sounds like a play, but really this masterpiece is part open letter, part satire, part indictment of our ongoing obsession with violence and terror. Written and directed by the absolute king Michael Haneke ( The Piano Teacher, Cache), this home invasion warhorse stars Susanne Lothar, Ulrich Muhe, and Arno Frisch. The randomness of murder was something I couldn’t help but think about as I rewatched 1997’s FUNNY GAMES. ![]() Watching everyone you love die… it made you special… made you who you are…” tapping the poor girl’s chest to punctuate their point. I wonder what would happen if someone approached Sidney Prescott and assured her, “You’re better for this, you know. What if Laurie didn’t go investigate the house where Annie was babysitting? What if Alice had taken a longer nap? What if Nancy didn’t dream? Or Clarice read about Hannibal on Wikipedia instead? Halloween Kills attempts to tell us that everything does not happen for a reason, that Laurie simply had Main Character Syndrome all along, that Michael is a geographical completionist, and that Laurie was just one stop on the way home. But what that expression does make me ponder is the seemingly random moments in horror films that have defined the entire series. Delivered by a soap-box toting, essential oil wearing individual, this useless expression serves to retroactively retcon the randomness of your own misfortune. ![]() “Everything happens for a reason” is an expression said to you almost exclusively at times when you do not want to hear it. ![]()
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